Create a 10-word scroll-stopping headline for: Snakes alive (should stay that way) | Vibe NC

Vader, the beautiful Eastern rat snake photographed for my 2018 YES! Weekly article, is no longer with us. Below is my response to a recent Facebook comment in which someone wrote that the presence of seven-foot “black snakes” makes them glad they don’t live in North Carolina.

“This beautiful animal cannot harm you, something not true of your neighbors. their dogs, or even your cat. In the US, venomous snakes kill around four people annually, usually snake-handling preachers and hobbyists who collect exotic neurotoxic species. Rat snakes are only dangerous to rodents and small birds (and if you’re horrified that they eat song bird eggs and fledglings, so does most local wildlife, including jays, mocking birds, crows, owls, foxes, raccoons, and even deer and squirrels).”

I love cats and dogs, but without medical treatment, a bite from either can result in necrosis, whereas the bite of the largest North American nonvenomous snake only requires soap and water. Dogs kill dozens of people, mostly women and children, annually in the US, and fatal attacks aren’t confined to large breeds, as toddlers have been killed by terriers and poodles.

I also told him that, as a grown man named Jeremy, he was statistically far more likely to harm his partner, coworkers or neighbors than any rattlesnake, copperhead, cottonmouth or coral snake is, much less the harmless-to-humans rat snakes that farmers and tribal peoples quasi-domesticated for rodent control.

(That is, of course, true of any adult male Homosapien, the creature which even in peace time kills more of its fellow human beings than any wild animal, but statistics indicate that Jeremy is the most common first or middle name of US and Canadian murderers.)

“With hantavirus on the rise, your friendly neighborhood rat snake is doing more to protect you than any human not a public health worker is.”