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It’s Not You, It’s Me: Chicago screening | June 25, 6-9 p.m., | Raleigh Little Theatre, Raleigh
The filmmaker Anthony Williams came of age, in a way, in Raleigh.
Originally from Arkansas, the filmmaker moved to North Carolina when he was 21 and spent the next 10 years navigating the dating scene and life in the South as a gay Black man. Now, he’s returning to the Oak City to screen his new docuseries, It’s Not You, It’s Me (INYIM), a mix of documentary and reality show that follows three queer men of color as they tackle modern dating.
It would be easy to compare INYIM to something from our current buffet of reality dating shows, but Williams’ unique concept doesn’t pit people against each other or make love a competition—think Couples Therapy, not The Bachelor. Filmed in Chicago, the INYIM bachelors speed-date under the guidance of a licensed relationship and sex therapist, consulting with their friends and family along the way. At the end, they can pick someone to keep dating, step back from the scene, or “seek additional guidance and specialized support on their self-healing journey,” per the show notes.
Where mainstream media often portrays the queer community as a monolith, INYIM represents LGBTQ+ people in a more nuanced and inclusive way, Williams told the INDY. He hopes audiences will see themselves in the show and “see themselves in an authentic light.” He’s also hoping INYIM will help audiences understand the value of therapy and act as a bridge for those who face systemic barriers to mental healthcare, including people of color.
“The show [is] funny, it’s uncomfortable, it’s vulnerable, it’s raw, it’s honest, and so I’m hoping that’s something that people can connect with,” Williams said.
Williams is running a crowdfunding campaign on Seed and Spark to finish post-production on the last six episodes, and hopes to form co-production partnerships to film future seasons.
INDY Week spoke with the creator about his own mental health journey, the brutal experience of dating apps, and why it’s important to know yourself before starting a relationship. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
INDY: Tell me about your own experience with therapy and your mental health journey.
ANTHONY WILLIAMS: When I was growing up, being a Black gay kid in the South, one of the mottos was “What happens in this house stays in this house. You don’t let our business go out in the street, you don’t need to talk to nobody about nothing.” You deal with it on your own, and you fix it on your own.
For the longest time, I stayed away from therapy because of what I thought it was going to be, or what people told me was going to be. You know—“It’s going to charge a shit ton of money to be able to just go in and sit on the couch and talk to somebody.” That’s…
