Create a 10-word scroll-stopping headline for: Getting situated: We have more control than we think :: WRAL.com | Vibe NC

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Last month, I traveled to Philadelphia
for my niece Annalisa’s graduation from the University of Pennsylvania. A
psychology major, she served as a teaching assistant in one of Penn’s most
popular courses, Grit Lab, taught by renowned psychologist and author, Angela
Duckworth.

I’ve been following Duckworth’s work for
over a dozen years.

Back when my son, Nick, was in high school,
his headmaster mentioned her TED Talk during a parent breakfast. Her research
on achievement immediately caught my attention. Years later, I wrote about her
work on the power of passion and perseverance as I examined “Can we increase our IQ at age 50?” I
eventually had the opportunity to meet her through my work with Elon
University’s business school advisory board.

So when my niece let me know I could be
included in her sneak preview of her forthcoming book, Situated, to
graduating students and their families, I eagerly grabbed a seat.

I expected to hear more about grit.

Instead, I left thinking about happiness.

A broader view of happiness

For years, I’ve shared research
suggesting that happiness is influenced by our genetics, our habits, and our
circumstances.

Much of my work as a leadership and
performance coach focuses on helping clients respond more skillfully to
circumstances they cannot control. Through emotional regulation exercises, we
learn to create space between an event and our reaction to it. We may not
control what happens to us, but we can develop greater control over how we
respond.

That work remains foundational.

What I appreciated about Duckworth’s new
research was the reminder to widen the lens.

Sometimes the answer isn’t only changing
our habits or managing our reactions. Sometimes it’s examining the situations
we have created around ourselves—the people, environments, mentors, and
communities that shape our daily lives.

Duckworth calls this….
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